• PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    57·
    12 days ago

    My one gripe with this framing is it assumes every woman is easily able to find/form a group of gal pals. There’s a lot of women who, for various reasons, have trouble building friendships with other women. This narrative that loneliness isn’t a problem for women because they always have each other just alienates those women and makes them feel like there’s something “wrong” with them if they don’t have a feminine friend group.

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    53·
    12 days ago

    I think this is where a lot of right wing women come from though. I’m convinced the entire tradwife thing is “I’m lonely so I’ll make myself the perfect house spouse so that I feel like I matter to someone”

    • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
      29·
      12 days ago

      I feel like that’s more likely to be a post hoc rationalization. They’re scared of being lonely against so they adopt a tradwife persona to cope with being in a relationship with a misogynistic jerk.

      I find the ones who go tradwife ideologically are either raised in it, became that way because of trauma, or are confusing a sub sexual fetish for politics.

      • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.todayEnglish
        20·
        12 days ago

        Yeah, I don’t feel like there’s a huge network of tradwives trying to radicalize other women. I mean I’m sure there are a few, but it mostly seems like they are just content creators trying to cater to people who already hold similar values.

        I think the dangerous aspect of the “Male Loneliness Epidemic^tm” is how evangelizing the community is. There are so many right winged grifters brainwashing young men into believing that all their problems stem from women having rights, and their loneliness has nothing to do with a society and economic model in decay.

        • Horse {they/them}@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
          21·
          12 days ago

          while it’s nowhere near the scale of the masc chud-o-sphere, a lot of tradwife tumblr is definitely trying to radicalize other (cis) women

          • peppersky [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBannedEnglish
            6·
            12 days ago

            I’m so lonely I just want to fucking die. Nothing truly bad ever happened to me. I’m just poor white cishet guy with poor parents and who is too stupid to just kill his soul. I’ve spent the last ten years at college studying because the subject interested me. I’ve moved to a new city three years ago and all the friendships I have made have been paperthin. I want deep friendships that last long. I want to hang out with people. I want to listen to music with people. I’ve written about this dozens of times. It’s completely impossible to connect with anybody in a meaningful way. Everyone is always moving away. If I can’t have meaningful relationships with people when working ten hours a week how am I going to have them when I work forty hours a week. I’m such a privileged little baby I don’t deserve to live.

            If i can’t live in a society or a community or a friend group I want a partner. But nobody has wanted me in ten years and even at my most social and outgoing nobody wanted me. I just want there to be another human being next to me when I go to sleep and when I wake up. But because I don’t have pheromones or some shit I’ll just never have any chance of anyone ever loving me. There’s openremoveds out there on their fifth marriage but nobody ever wanted me.

            I do not want to go through life alone.

            Thirty fucking years of life and there’s just nothing to tell I’ve got hobbies I read I do all the shit that one is supposed to do. I go to therapy nothing helps there’s no one around me I do not want to live like this.

            What kind of social über mensch do I need to be to not be so desperately lonely. I just need money

            • peppersky [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBannedEnglish
              2·
              12 days ago

              I have one singular good friend here in this city (and like five good friends I semi regularly do stuff with in the country and a handful of friends I see once a year maybe).

              I’ve known her for three years now and I’ve already talked to her about what kind of friendship I’d like (more regular hangouts, maybe at her or my place, cooking together, that kind of stuff) and I’ve visited her place once (which was very cool) but since then we’ve met maybe once every two weeks at best. I try to be the best friend I can but it just isn’t good enough. We talk about our feelings, I listen to her, I make space for her, always try to make her feel comfortable without any pressure. We do fun stuff, I genuinely can’t believe she has more fun when she is with any other friend. And it still doesn’t matter, this is a “go to the movies once every two weeks friendship” and nothing else. It can never be anything else. It can never become love or companionship or anything else. I wrote her two days ago about something and we chatted a bit and then I asked her how she was doing and now she hasn’t answered in two days and i don’t know why this bothers me this much why can’t we have the type of friendship that is freeflowing and doesn’t feel forced and choppy. I wanna set my life straight for her but the world won’t let me. Love is supposed to transcend this shit but capitalism has forced us all to kill our hearts and to turn into fully rational beings every moment of our life’s. I didn’t feel like this until a few months ago. I don’t want to feel like this. She is such a good person and she’s not evil she just overworked and I’m sure she’ll reply but goddamn every time I look at my phone it feels like she is ignoring me. And if she ever finds another guy she’ll just have even less time for me. I wish I was sexy I’d love to be sexy for her I want her to want me like I want her or for anybody to ever want me. I feel like there’s a version of me that’s just one percent different that she’d fall in love with instantly but I just don’t get the chance to ever become that person. Every day the world becomes a more loveless hopeless place. I just want a bit of romance and love and I’ll never ask for anything else ever again

  • Meltyheartlove [love/loves, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    23·
    12 days ago

    The option where you get used to feeling lonely after a decade or more of hurting and blaming yourself for being alone as it creeps into other parts of life until you stop feeling anything at all and become hollow inside but now you are somehow comfortable with the idea for mysterious reasons beyond your reach but deep down you know it is just apathy or because you have accepted defeat but that’s completely okay because you would rather not torment yourself.

  • Alisu [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    11·
    12 days ago

    It’s not like they decide that for themselves. The ideas that men, specially the ones experiencing loneliness, are exposed to, make them like this. It’s only natural that the ideas that the dominant class supports are more present and are more widely adopted

  • Ascend910@lemmy.mlEnglish
    5·
    11 days ago

    For me, loneliness radicalised me quite far to the left. My idea is that similar to financial independence, romantic independence should be achieved as well. People should be able to receive free dating etiquettcy education sponsored by the state while in school, and some things similar to the Japanese government run dating app should be implemented to give people a chance to meet more people and form connection without the profit driven enshitification.

    • ButtBidet [he/him]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      4·
      11 days ago

      I’m supportive of the idea of the state helping people find partners. Not like assigning or forcing partners on people (I realise that’s not what you’re looking for), but just have Tinder be state ran. Also 3rd places can be organised, like in Soviet bloc countries.