Help is available, if we can profit off of your personal data. We need to be able to serve relevant ads to you suicidal folks before it’s too late to do so
This is so perfectly 2025.
Concerned about your privacy?
Suffering from ‘paranoia’, the idea that people are watching you, tracking you all the time?
Depressed about that?
Good! Fuck you, kill yourself.
American Mental Healthcare
When I was a teenager, I suffered from paranoia of being watched because my parents watched everything I did on the internet. As an adult, now it’s the government. Fantastic.
Feeling down? Drink a verification can, sign in at the virtual welcome center with easy-access using biometrics, and await consultation with a popu-pacifimaxxer for evaluation!
What kind of ads would you serve to a suicidal person specifically?
Therapy? Guns? Suicide Hotline?
Gambling
Online therapy, self help books, right-wing grifter rabbit holes, medications with varying degrees of efficacy and legality
All else fails, adverts for bulk order discounts on paracetamol, strong alcohol and sturdy plastic bags.
Remember it’s not just ads. This info is sent to insurance companies too
Probably therapy?
Not a worry though. I can read about stretches that can relieve sciatica. These are some of the ten free articles available to me.
March 8th, 2021, was a very informative day. It’s fortunate that was included in your 10-article window!
Honestly, searching for decent medical info with search engines is a pain in the ass these days. And no, don’t start with that AI chatbot nonsense with me. I end up adding -healthline -verywellhealth -medicalnewstoday and a bunch of others that I’m forgetting to the query just to have a chance at a non-paywall, non-slop site. Typically the crap drowns out the likes of basic overviews like Mayo and Cleveland Clinics, which even 10 years ago tended to rank quite high on the results pages.
ublock origin can block cookie popups.
