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salty_chief@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 2 days ago

Mellencamp

lemmy.world

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Mellencamp

lemmy.world

salty_chief@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 2 days ago
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  • Allero@lemmy.today
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    2 days ago

    Keep it in mind: every time you take a shit, you’re essentially reverse dildoing your ass. Very homo.

    • MTK@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Umm, reverse homo, so super straight actually.

      • Allero@lemmy.today
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        1 day ago

        Sucking dick is then always hetero, because it goes in on the other side, so kinda reversed too?

        • OldChicoAle@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Sucking dick is always okay

          • JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca
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            4 hours ago

            Can you imagine if they homies weren’t cool with a little BJ now and again?!

    • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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      2 days ago

      Wiping your ass is especially gay

      • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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        2 days ago

        I read a story where a guy didnt wipe ass cause it makes you gay. He let it dry out and “handle itself”. I was really hoping he was pro-bidet…

        • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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          1 day ago

          That makes my ass itch just reading it

  • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I thought it would be called a Mellencamp cause of his shit music.

    I swear I am gonna jam a microphone down that man’s throat if I have to hear “small town” one more damn time. You can’t just rhyme small town with small town, stop saying small town!!

    • Stamau123@lemmy.world
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      24 hours ago

      Yeah that had to be the worst, most repetitive song I’ve heard on the radio, and that’s saying something

  • Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    This has happened to me before.

    • Ebby@lemmy.ssba.com
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      2 days ago

      Nothing to debate here with a username like that. Just smile and nod as I skip to the next post…

      • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
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        2 days ago

        <rolls up the window and clicks on the door locks while smiling so hard a tear comes out>

  • kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    I… is this a real thing??

    • CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      Im curious too but i know there’s a 0% chance of getting a straight answer here in the comments.

    • Atomic@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      I have no idea. And I’d rather not find out either. Nothing good will come from trying to find out.

      • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        A little good might come ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • RustyShackleford@literature.cafe
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      2 days ago

      Technically it’s possible, but the likelihood of it ever happening to someone is about as good as you finding a leprechaun’s pot of gold.

      • RedAggroBest@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Sounds like you underestimate the power of opiate-based constipation. I’ve heard from addicts of this happening enough that I just assumed it would only happen to someone that severely constipated.

      • panda_abyss@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        Hah, jokes on you, that has happened to me

        I found a pot of gold

        • RustyShackleford@literature.cafe
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          5 hours ago

        • Inaminate_Carbon_Rod@lemmy.world
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          15 hours ago

          I just found pot then lost all motivation to keep looking.

          Funny memes go ha ha

    • scoobford@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      Yes. It hasn’t happened to me, but I had a close call once.

      One of many things I will not be discussing with my therapist.

      • Quadhammer@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        “Let’s go back to the time you had that life altering turd splooge. How do you think this affected your relationship with your father?”

    • tacosanonymous@mander.xyz
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      2 days ago

      Yes.

    • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
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      2 days ago

      I sure hope so.

  • Random_Character_A@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Sitting here doom scrolling lemmy and waiting for my first mellencamp.

  • sandwich.make(bathing_in_bismuth)@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Everyone here with pre signs of colon/prostate cancer. Not saying it can’t happen but man, every male gets to deal with prostate cancer at some point in their life (most grow old without it ever being noticeable, but its still thete.)

  • Rob Bos@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    Y’all need some fibre

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    What? No matter how bad a diet I’ve had this has never been a thing.

    • Apocalypteroid@lemmy.org
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      2 days ago

      Try harder

  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    If you ever have to take a dump outside, away from a toilet, this can happen more easily. At least it’s easier to notice. Happens to me nearly every time I have to do so. I work way out in the field, so often enough. Probably happens at the toilet more often than you think. You just have it tucked so piss stays in the bowl.

    • IndolentRoshi@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      But ejaculate’s not piss?

      • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Yeah, but you probably don’t notice the ejaculate because you piss too.

        • CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works
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          You think guys don’t notice getting a sudden erection or feeling an orgasm? There’s more to it than just having cum come out of your dick.

          • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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            19 hours ago

            It doesn’t require an erection, and it never felt like an orgasm to me. Just the same momentary prostate stimulation you feel when you shit.

  • LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz
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    2 days ago

    I can almost feel the definition of mellencamp replacing a childhood memory in my brain.

  • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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    2 days ago

    Sooo its not normal? Have I been lied too?

  • classic@fedia.io
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    2 days ago

    Lots of TIL in this one

  • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    that one guy on Quora’s quest to shit cum and piss at the same time is actually possible. Who knew

    • Quadhammer@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      The unholy trinity…

  • Zdvarko@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    So aah for science what diet would um assist in this happening?

    • RedAggroBest@lemmy.world
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      Ignore any other advice and do heroin. The post-constipation dump is the only way I thought this happened to people lol

    • Nightwatch Admin@feddit.nl
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      As a plant eater I hate to say this but a pure meat diet (absolutely nothing else) will do this to you, it’ll be a once-a-week (or so) ass ripping constipation dump with the best chances for your eh… fulfilment.

      • jet@hackertalks.com
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        As a pure meat eater, i have some bad news, carnivore poops are regular, small, and without any constipation.

      • PoliteDudeInTheMood@lemmy.ca
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        I had a UTI recently (thanks to the diabeetus) and for some reason I got constipated as a side effect. Can confirm, 3 days backup was enough to trigger this interesting event.

  • then_three_more@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Careful, you might summon the Wanky Shit Demon by mistake

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