How do you know it isn’t running away from home?

Someone with a lot of cats.

Halfway to Idiocracy

I was about to say 87 years ago but four score and seven highlights my administration’s focus on mathematics.

I’m almost 50 years old and I’ve been hearing about this for almost 50 years.

Did you name it?

Just like Kyle to slack off when a world record is on the line. Thanks, Kyle!

Reading through the articles and linked articles in the comments, gas stove emissions contribute to, not a direct cause of, the deaths of .04% of the 50 million people in the US that use gas stoves.

Not saying this isn’t important, but I don’t think this will ever crack the top 10 concerns of my lifetime.

The infamous Lumberjack Russell Terrier.

I can’t tell if the Onion gets their ideas from the stuff DeSantis does or if DeSantis gets his ideas from reading the Onion.

Straight to jail.

I just woke up and read the headline as “highly photogenic bird flu”

And for the love of God, fellas, keep your receipts!

The legend of Colonel Sanders.

It’s Australia - better make sure they aren’t lethally poisonous!

So “A” evolved from cattle. Must of been from the Angus breed.

Hey guys…I don’t think that picture’s to scale…

I have nothing to contribute to this conversation. Just wanted to say that was a horribly written article.

Giant ape grabs girl, girl screams at ape, ape climbs Empire State Building, biplanes shoot at ape, ape puts down girl, ape falls to his death, girl cries over dead ape. I’ve seen it a thousand times, Smitty, and it doesn’t get any easier.

Shit…my wife just thought of a bigger diamond I could buy her.