I’ve dealt with dating people with a video game addiction. We barely spent time together, let alone spoke to each other. And I played video games but didn’t spend my entire day doing it to the point of missing eating meals together, ignoring what my partner says to me, neglecting chores, losing sleep, etc. My partner gave me the time of day when they wanted sex, that was it. Ignored for my birthday, dating anniversary, valentines day, etc. I barely had a friend, not really a partner. I was told if I wanted to spend time with them or talk to them, I would have to game with them and join discord with 10 other guys talking at once and playing games. It didn’t help that I had little interest in the games they liked and vice versa. And I would hear from other women dealing with the same thing. It’s not that we don’t have other hobbies or need constant attention, it’s that there is very little to no connection going on with our partners. No emotional intimacy erodes relationships.

My first experiences on the internet were riddled with misogyny. As a child, I was told I am lying about being a girl and didn’t sound like one. I had many guys tell me “tits or gtfo” when learning I’m a girl, usually after they asked me if I was a girl. I tried playing some multiplayer team games online and was hazed once they found out I was a girl, multiple times. I refuse to play those games now. Even as an adult, I’ve had gamer guys think I’m great until they learn I’m a feminist, then the hate comes back. I’ve dated an adult man who belittled me for playing Sims because people with real lives play games like Overwatch. At least mainstream media felt like there were more women around, lemmy just feels more centered for men :/

I get that men are terrified about false rape accusations, even though there is an extremely low chance of it happening, they are afraid. When someone talks about sexual assault, in their mind they feel they need to defend themselves by bringing up false accusations because in their mind it will discourage this crime, bring light to real victims, and thus protect themselves. I’m not a man but this is what I’ve been told. Then you have victims, who simply want their rapist and other rapists to face justice. They often know others around them who have also been sexually assaulted. When they talk about sexual assault and someone else brings up false accusations, it feels like they don’t actually care about the victims and just want to soapbox about false accusations, stealing the spotlight. They might even be a toxic part of the manosphere.

The nature of the crime means it is usually the victim and the perpetrator alone and not in public, and the victim is more likely to know who the assaulter is. It can be a family member, friend, partner, etc. There usually isn’t much evidence to prove sexual assault. So we have a problem. As you said, you don’t believe a hefty amount of these sexual assaults should have laws enforced on them. I don’t have a solution, other than a suggestion that people should be more empathetic towards victims. And not ask questions like yours to victims.

Not sure if you were just reiterating, but yes it is depressing. It takes bravery to step forward knowing that it can cause further damage to oneself. Not just socially but mentally. I don’t have a perfect solution to this. But when the perpetrator is Trump, I doubt justice is going to happen.

I absolutely agree. If rape kits are made, they can be backlogged and then degrade, which is extremely depressing to think about.

Threads like this need to be followed up with eyebleach (a community full of cute animals and such).

Lemmy is mostly men, it is hard to share any other perspective. SA is hard to get a conviction in. If there isn’t physical evidence like semen, then the victim is called a liar. If there is semen evidence, then the victim is called someone who regretted their choice and is now getting back at the person. (And this is assuming the perpetrator was male, there can be female perpetrators too). A lot of victims do not come forward about what happened because they don’t want to be called a liar and labeled a pariah publicly. The absolute shame and rejection when someone doesn’t believe you. This subject is pretty sensitive to me and lemmy just really, really disappoints sometimes.

It does work with VPNs that are approved.

https://real-debrid.com/vpn

Disabled people are not going to all agree on everything, especially when they are pretty diverse. Some will like gen ai, and some will not.

Ok so let’s talk about conception briefly. You cannot physically remove the sperm from a female’s reproductive parts (fallopian tubes) after ejaculation in an attempt to prevent pregnancy. Sperm travels very fast. Douching does not prevent pregnancy and can even push sperm further into the uterus. Hormonal birth control can prevent ovulation and thicken the cervical mucus to prevent pregnancy (sperm has to enter the cervix to get to the fallopian tubes). Condoms should be self-explanatory as a physical barrier.

https://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/conception-how-it-works

Sorry if you meant this as a joke because I am going to take this literally (lol) but yes semen can impregnate people with uteruses but this can be mitigated with birth control. Oral birth control pills, IUD, arm implant, depo shot, etc. I have never had a pregnancy scare or unexpected pregnancy (nulliparous). Some people are into breeding fetishes or quiverfull, but I’m more of “I’ll have one kid in the future, maybe.”

At that point, condoms are probably better. It’s easy cleanup and you don’t have to deal with semen.

I think the disconnect here is that washing your hair usually doesn’t lead to health problems the way washing a vagina does (douching even with water causes pelvic inflammatory disease, for example). It is your choice, I just wanted to provide information about vaginal health because this mentality sounds like it comes from shame rather than any health reason. It’s not nasty (again, shame), vaginas do have smells like when you’re on your period. Mine only smelled weird with one partner, and even then I’ve never had a smell for very long unless there was an actual infection going on. Smells are usually no big deal, assuming there isn’t an infection. I know you mentioned it smelling “rank” before, I think you might benefit from visiting a gynecologist. Again, no shame, vaginas are a normal part of life for some of the population.

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/my-discharge-smells-like-my-boyfriend

I understand you might feel self-conscious about after unprotected sex if it causes a smell, but it is not good practice to rinse your vagina with water, vulva is ok but not vaginas. Vaginas are self cleaning, semen is taken out with vaginal discharge.

https://womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/douching

Vulvas can be washed with water and unscented, mild soap if tolerated but not vaginas, they are self-cleaning.

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-clean-your-vagina

https://www.self.com/story/best-way-to-clean-vagina

You should read this thread, had a lot of perspectives on this.

https://sh.itjust.works/post/39160164

when a website password breeds

I didn’t know passwords could reproduce, is that how password generators work? /j

“Permanently locked bootloader” means you can’t unlock the bootloader so you can flash a different OS. If you can’t unlock the bootloader, you can’t flash. A lot of phones are like this, like Samsung’s galaxy series. I got really fucked by Samsung with the S10 because of this. You need to buy a specific type of phone and security patch if you want to flash. I went with the Pixel bought unlocked from Google so I could use GrapheneOS. It was very easy to unlock the bootloader and then relock it back. I noticed you said the pixel does not have good reception in your country, I would look more into this before going with it if this is the case.

What about something like Posteo or Mailbox? I’ve heard self-hosting email is hard for newbs, so I’ve been thinking of getting a domain and connecting it to something like the above. Getting a domain does reveal your identity, but email is also not really private. Also do you have a domain registar recommendation for email?

I currently have Proton unlimited, but I really only need the VPN for obvious reasons. While I do use the drive, I also have filen. For passwords I use a mix of Bitwarden and Keepass. I do use the hell out of simple login, but that can be replaced with Addy or something else. So I don’t really need Proton unlimited.

Can you put a content warning for gore on your comment? Sorry to ask, but there are annoying, rather pathetic anti-vegan trolls that try to get vegans banned. You can show prepared meals with meat in them or even raw processed meat, but not the actual process. Don’t want people to have feelings when they look at meat after all. Unfortunately if you mention veganism outside of a vegan community, you will attract this troll.