Imagine how awkward he must have been at the start.

Sucks to have to work that hard just to hang out.

“I’m sorry I can’t focus with someone talking next to. I am going for a walk. Please call me when your done.”

Intel iGPU are very good for transcoding.

Other people have already talked about why you are having performance issues with the Pi. As for a better NAS solution you will probably be better off with a used desktop PC from the last 10 years. If the computer doesn’t have enough SATA ports you can get a sata addon card or HBA (host buss adapter) addon card flashed in IT mode. You should be able to find a lot of options on eBay. Maybe people can chime in with specific models to look at.

That sounds like a problem for the people dumping money into these companies and keeping them afloat.

I feel like this is a normal cycle of new tech. People get really excited about all the possibilities and don’t have any experience to ground expectations. Eventually people use it enough to realize what is more realistically achievable. Then mentally shifts from “magical solution to everything” to “a tool that is good at some things and bad at others”.

It sounds like you just have a high need for socializing. I am on Discord voice chat with friends almost daily. It is basically a “hangout” spot where we can all come and go as we please. You may want more actual face time, so look into volunteering opportunities in your area. You get to interact with people and have a shared purpose so it makes starting new relationships easier.

If you want to start with understanding the fundamentals, this may be a good place start: https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/1-124j-foundations-of-software-engineering-fall-2000/

Don’t fixate on what language to learn. I would find a teaching resource that works for you and follow whatever it is telling you to use. Once you have a specific project in mind is an appropriate time to worry about which language to use.

I have had good luck with self hosted Headscale server and Tailscale clients on Pfsense routers creating a mesh network. But I am trusting other people’s networks. So Tailscale clients on each computer and the NAS would be lower risk.

Breakfast is 2-3 Tillamook vanilla Greek yogurt cups. For filling in missing meals I will either use an Anabar or Musashi High Protein bar.

I mostly listen audiobooks for that reason. Oddly I have friends that are ADHD that can’t focus on an audio book but can read without a problem.

Tailscale. You can make a free account and they have clients for most things. If you want to self host, Headscale.

My setup is very influenced by consolidating multiple hosts to a single host. So far this setup has been extremely stable for me with the only quirk being the Truenas web gui initially loads very slowly if I haven’t accessed in a couple days. I assume it’s because all the memory for that has gone to swap to make space for caching.

Truenas has the primary focus of being a NAS. Running apps or VMs is more of a side thing. It can do these things fine, but because it’s not the primary focus it doesn’t get the same level of polish as the NAS aspects.

My personal solution is to run Proxmox as the host OS with a Truenas VM. Any other services I want to run get to live in VMs or LXC containers. For example all my docker services run across 3 VMs with a docker swarm setup.

I have been trying to get better at just sitting with emotions. The idea being that it helps me learn to tolerate unpleasant feelings and most things will go away on there own given time for your brain to process. This is hard and some times I have to bail out. Journaling where I can describe my feelings and why I think I feel that way can help. Going for a walk and listening to something relaxing helps a lot.

A possible way to interpret it since you said you both have ADHD, is that they got so invested in the argument that they literally don’t know what their original stance is. Then they just accept whatever “feels” correct in the moment and assume that is what they have been saying the whole time. I used to get frustrated by someone a lot because it felt like they where always complaining. Then I found out they have a degenerative condition and they are almost always in pain. This understanding changed my view on their behavior. It’s possible the person has a limitation where they can not keep track of things while be emotionally elevated. Anyway, that’s just a guess with very little data.

Aren’t there non-stimulant drugs they could have you try? I’m using one called bupropion which is for depression but has off label use for ADHD. I doubt that it has an abuse risk.

It would be interesting to see another study focusing on cognitive load. Maybe the AI let’s you offload some amount of thinking so you reserve that energy for things it’s bad at. But I could see how that would potentially be a wash as you need to clearly specify your requirements in the prompt, which is a different cognitive load.

I know the emotional spiral you are dealing with. I am struggling to not let myself fall into that pattern of behavior any more. I believe in you. You made a simple honest mistake. You aren’t a monster and you don’t have a major moral failing. You are a perfectly reasonable human and made a perfectly reasonable human mistake.

Step one: breath. Take long slow deliberate breathes. Acknowledge you are in an emotionally elevated state and this will make thinking clearly difficult if not possible. I find focusing only on the breathing until I feel like maybe you want a nap is a clear indicator I have done enough. lol.

Step two: Acknowledge what happened objectively without assigning blame. A scheduling mistake was made. This is a detail that is important and easy to get wrong. You are neither the first or the last person to make the same error. You haven’t harmed anyone. At worst some people will be disappointed, yourself included.

Step three: What can be done? Can you adjust reservationa to attend the event? If attending the original event is not possible, can you pivot to doing other things for the reserved times? If not, what can be done to get refunds or sell (at cost) your tickets to other people?