I ate 30,000 pounds of bananas during a road trip once. I was on my way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.

Hmm… maybe it we make them into hot dogs first they’ll be more digestible.

What’s it like to watch Fox News these days?

I hear he got it from Agnes.

Using “they” as singular. Also, referring to animals besides humans as “he,” “she,” or “they” instead of “it.”

I usually am a grammar nazi, but these are things I do very intentionally.

*Secession

Are we ready to impeach yet?

More than impeach.

There are plenty of grown adults who know even less. I’m all for younger voting ages.

I’m surprised the media isn’t calling this a “pedestrian-involved accident”. Usually that’s how it works when a car mows people down.

Same thing with “bike crashes” where someone in a Canyonero runs over someone on a bike.

We escaped from that gas

Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass

In a galaxy far away…

Naboo was under an attack.

And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn

Could talk the federation in

To maybe… cutting them a… little slack.

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I could really go for a big slice of n.

Violife cheese for the win. Stay away from Tofutti/Daiya. Those are trash tier.

I guess it’s good that she took a Chance on him.

Awoo?

*Who’s (as in, “who is”)

Mmm

Let me explain the situation for those who don’t know:

Once, there was this girl who

Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion

And when she finally made it,

She saw

Some other girl who was better

And so she hired some guy to club her in the knee cap.

Surprise level: 0