…Are you serious?

“I would, but I’m afraid she expired after we dipped her in liquefied fusible metal alloy.”

I know I’ve mentioned how I hate this timeline, but it bears repeating.

I can certainly see why you took the picture. Nobody would believe you without photographic evidence.

That’s the most extraordinary example yet. How do you even locate these, uh, remarkable examples of craftsmanship?

I’m no lawyer, let alone a US lawyer, but can somebody explain how this isn’t a violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, which makes it a federal offense to intentionally access a “protected computer” without authorization or by exceeding authorized access?

Nobody is shaming the bodies they were born with, but when you deliberately carve, stitch and inflate your face into something that would make any child spontaneously scream in abject fear and break down in tears of terror, you can’t reasonably expect it to pass unremarked upon.

It doesn’t have anything to do with gender either. It’s no different when men do the same.

It’s oddly appropriate to see Miller dressed as a Trekkie and looking mighty unhappy about that fact. I can’t decide whether it’s because he’s cosplaying a “filthy space commie”, because he’s expected to act as a decent older role model or it’s because his resting bitch-face just is like that, but hey… It’s not like any of those explanations are mutually exclusive.

“So, what were you looking to imp-”

“Just fuck my shit up.”

“Like… your hair?”

“No, my face. I hate myself, and I need to be as beautiful on the outside as I secretly suspect I am on the inside.”

“…And I’m here to tell you all about it with a smile on my face. My bedside manner is impeccable too.”

There are so many options for classical American entrepreneurship here. God bless capitalism.

See, this is what I like about the Internet: No matter how obscure, a subject matter expert is almost always right there.

Thanks, buddy.

That sounds painful.

I maintain that the definition of wrong is a function of the intended outcome. The former method is absolutely the correct approach for obtaining 2 dimensional horse-smoothies. And morbidly repainting the workshop.

Straight to the middle of his designated landing zone. As we all know, he’s a well prepared kitty.

Much obliged, sir.

This is vitally important: I need to know where that’s from. For… uh, science. Yes.

Look, all she had to do was ask if I’d like to spend the last moments of my drastically foreshortened life with my head lodged betwixt her muscular thighs.

Well, yes. But that’s their fault, not yours.

Punchability is a highly competitive field these days. At this point, we should probably just make it an Olympic event.

Hell, make it PPV and it could probably finance an actual health care system for the US.